la dama

This is what it is like for the statue of liberty: on the rare occasion that she’d like to be taken out for a quiet dinner somewhere nice, she’s got to face the facts. She’s the largest lady in the Americas. She’s got to travel to Brazil to find a man big enough for her and, as luck would have it, Rio de Janeiro’s Jesus Christ isn’t in to women. He doesn’t date much.

If height isn’t enough of a barrier to being asked out, her perceived regality intimidates even her peers. North Dakota offers the only local company to scale, but the Dakota Boys keep their distance: her parisian birth makes her too euro for Crazyhorse’s taste. She is snubbed by the Ex-Presidents as “inspirational, but just not very much fun.”

And so, misunderstood and beautiful, Lady Liberty, sits at a table for one.